First of all… Who decided that 35 was old?! And can we please have a conversation about the word geriatric? Because excuse me…
I’m barely keeping up with laundry, chasing kids, running a business, and now you’re calling me geriatric? The disrespect.
Now imagine my face when I got pregnant again at 41 years old. Here I come walking into the high-risk doctor’s office feeling like I should’ve arrived in a wheelchair with a cane just to get an ultrasound.
The nurses were wonderful, but hearing “advanced maternal age” every five minutes had me looking over my shoulder wondering who they were talking about.
Spoiler alert… It was me. As much as I hated the label, trying to conceive after 35 taught me a lot. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything, these would be the biggest lessons.
1. Your Fertility Doesn’t Expire on Your 35th Birthday
One thing I wish someone had told me is that turning 35 doesn’t suddenly mean you can’t have a healthy pregnancy.
Yes, fertility naturally changes with age, but many women in their late 30s and 40s have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies.
Age is one piece of the puzzle—not the whole story.
2. Get Checked Before You Start Trying
If you’re over 35 and thinking about having a baby, schedule a preconception appointment.
- Ask questions.
- Get blood work.
- Talk about your medical history.
If you’ve had miscarriages, irregular cycles, fibroids, PCOS, or other concerns, don’t wait until months have passed to ask for help.
3. Advocate for Yourself
One thing I’ve learned through my fertility journey is this:
If something doesn’t feel right…
- Speak up.
- Ask another question.
- Get another opinion.
You know your body better than anyone else.
4. Your Body Might Need More Support
As I got older, I became much more intentional about my health.
I focused on nutrition, movement, sleep, taking the supplements recommended by my healthcare providers, and keeping up with my appointments.
Not because I was trying to be perfect… But because I wanted to give my body the best support I could.
5. Don’t Ignore Your Mental Health
Trying to conceive can be exhausting. Trying to conceive after 35 can feel even heavier because suddenly everyone starts reminding you about your age.
Protect your peace. Take social media breaks if you need to. Celebrate small wins. And don’t let anyone rush your timeline.
6. High-Risk Doesn’t Always Mean Something Will Go Wrong
I’ll be honest… The words high-risk pregnancy scared me.
But high-risk simply means your healthcare team wants to monitor you more closely because of factors like age or certain medical conditions.
Extra appointments don’t automatically mean bad news. Sometimes they simply mean extra care.
7. Your Journey Doesn’t Have to Look Like Anyone Else’s
I spent too much time comparing myself to women who got pregnant on the first try. Comparison stole my joy.
The truth is… Some women conceive quickly. Others need more time. Neither journey is more valuable than the other.
8. Faith Helped Me Keep Going
There were moments I questioned everything. Moments I wondered if motherhood was ever going to happen for me again.
My faith gave me something to hold onto when I didn’t have answers. Even when I couldn’t see the outcome, I kept believing there was still hope.
9. Pregnancy Over 35 Isn’t Easy…
…but neither is pregnancy at 25.
Every season of motherhood comes with its own challenges.
Don’t let scary statistics convince you that your story has already been written.
10. I Would Do It All Again
If someone asked me today whether having babies after 35 was worth it… I’d answer before they finished the question.
Absolutely.
Every appointment.
Every tear.
Every surgery.
Every anxious ultrasound.
Every moment.
Because today I get to hold my daughters. And I’d walk that road again in a heartbeat.
If you’re trying to conceive after 35, I want you to hear this from someone who’s been there.
You are not too old.
You are not broken.
You deserve a doctor who listens, people who support you, and hope that refuses to let go.
No matter what your journey looks like…
I’m cheering for you.
With love,
– Yoni Mack